The 2014 S Class is too nice.

"Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur" (velocity860) 10/25/2013 at 23:50 • Filed to: S Class

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There are features I don't even understand! How does it have wiper fluid dispensers in the wipers!? How is the fluid heated!? Why is literally every touch point in the car heated!? Heated rock massage things in the seats?! Perfume dispensers?! IT'S TOO NICE! (I need two of em now. Plz donate)

Redd, the RX-7 that could > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 10/26/2013 at 00:12

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The cabin air can be double filtered, ionized, and infused by an aromatherapy system... I had no idea cars were this advanced.

McSchmalex > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 10/26/2013 at 00:21

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It will also do your taxes and help your kids with their homework

otto-from-another-computer > Redd, the RX-7 that could 10/26/2013 at 05:10

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Cars aren't. The S-class is.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 10/26/2013 at 05:50

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As a former S-Class owner (W140 S600), i can't agree no more.

Even my S-Class was so advanced for it's time.

Orthopedic seats, car phone, ABS, ESP, Parking sensor, it's just nice.

Mikeado > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur 10/26/2013 at 09:47

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If cars read newspapers, something like a VW Golf would read a middle-of-the-road broadsheet. A Transit van would read the cheapest, sluttiest tabloid it could find. A TVR would buy a stack of copies of the Daily Mail just to set fire to them (and then wonder why it's going broke...).

The new S-Class doesn't even read newspapers, because it deems them as too slow a method of receiving news, instead choosing to get live, to-the-minute updates from 100 different sources around the world and then analyse the validity of those stories to find out which ones were written with a political bias and which ones are exaggerating or lying. This process takes approximately 49 seconds. News sources found to be consistent "offenders" are swapped for an alternative.